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If you’re planning to use it to peg, opt for a slim, texture-free dildo, like the Tantus Silk small (or medium) dildo. We’re grouping these three together since they’re all for impact play, but they are all very different devices. A flogger is a multi-tailed scourge (like a whip/lash) that’s typically made of soft leather. A paddle is, well, a paddle, and it’s often made of leather or wood. A crop is just like a riding crop (i.e., the one used with horses), and it’s often made of leather.

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“For less than $20,” Kent says, “you can experiment with the mutual fun of a vibrating cock ring” that provides clitoral and testicular stimulation. As with many products, there’s a learning curve — as I found out when I first started shopping for sex accessories. And, for some older adults who may have issues gripping a toy, is it ergonomic? One of the best perks of my job as a sex and relationships writer is the truly endless number of sex toys I get to review.

Sex toys are used by certain people with impairments or limited mobility to masturbate, have sex, or engage in sexual activities or postures that may be difficult or not feasible for them. And don’t limit yourself to only considering toys marketed as couples’ toys. As Engle says, “Any toy can be used as a couples toy,” so it may be helpful to expand beyond the mindset of products that put an emphasis on use during penetration only. Or perhaps you might want to start out with something as simple as a massage oil candle rather than motorized toys. Ultimately, of course, communication is key to figuring out what you’re both comfortable with—and the type of products that you’ll each derive the most pleasure from.

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